I smile instead of showing the pain inside.
- Viv Swilynn
vivieeenks.blogspot.com
寂寞的夜~想念. Precious ♥
Tuesday, December 21, 2010 @6:33 AM


寂寞的夜晚里，我學會了寂寞~我明白不該太依賴~
縱使我很努力的再把自己矜持住，但是還是失敗了~
最初的期待，卻換不到些什麽，一切只怪自己太貪心~
讓你有機會成為別人的~我不明白自己在幹什麼~
我只知道此時此刻，我的心揪著，很痛苦的想念著~
我喜歡的，從事我未想過的~對愛情的渴望~
是從未減少的，努力的增加著~即使……是個坑~
我也願意才進去，單身太久，忘了戀愛的甜~
曾經以為不會有永恆的愛，其實是我還沒遇見~
我不相信！我現在相信只要跌倒了，願意重新振作！
那什麽都是假的，只有堅強才是真的！
我習慣對別人有所保留，因為害怕受傷~
怕傷的越重，讓別人看見懦弱狼狽的我~
我從來沒有想過，要是真的有一天~
我的他，出現了，我又會是個怎麼樣的人~
我真的沒有想過，只能在音樂中尋找他們口中的Mr.Right~
感覺Mr.Right的存在，當一個人真正擁有過~
那就算失去，他們也不會忘記那份安全感，那份依賴~
那段難以忘記的感情、片段~
就算說好的幸福都被撕破了，他們依舊相信對方是為對方而存在的~
單純的相信著，難道這就是別人口中的「簡單的快樂」嗎？
即使是禁果，我也真的很想嘗嘗~
我的懦弱真的可以放心的讓我的他看見嗎？
我的狼狽真的可以放下寶貴的尊嚴讓他安慰嗎？
我從來都沒有想過，因為對我來說~
想著這些事，一秒都只是奢望~
我應該坦然的面對我的生活，我的命運，我的不安~
這些事情是我自己可以應付得來的~
我不是不相信身邊朋友可以給我的安全感~
因為我從來沒有懷疑過他們不能，我相信的！
但是我就是會保留，我怕被別人知道我的弱點~
以前太單純，容易接受新的感情，所以我的噩夢從未停止~
我的後果就是一直的跌倒，為這些無關緊要的事~
賠上我的眼淚，我的付出，我的犧牲~
無可否認，感情就是要集合這些才能永久，但是~
現在呢？說什麼都只是個屁！我明白我自己的存在值~
話說太白，反而沒有台階下，只要明顯的暗示~
什麽事情都有餘地，我們都不會狼狽的退出~
上一段感情，太容易妥協，才會變代替品！
我只會守株待兔，我的要求高~
「癩蛤蟆想吃天鵝肉」是在指我吧？我又何嘗不知道~
自己是什麽值，只是不肯面對，讓大家賠上了時間~
其實不需要說明，我真得很明白~
對他的想念，對回憶的一切，都只是一廂情願~
應該適可而止，我不會太超過，因為我明瞭~
I still remember the night, you whispered to my ear.
You words melted my heart for the whole night.
You've made me another day.
I'll never forget the way you called my name.
You hugged me near to your chest, 
I can hear your heartbeats going so fast.
Time passes, it took away everything.
Yet it left me the impression of you as the last memory.
I'll never forget my very first secure you made for me.
The way you bitted my lips in our very first kiss.
I went near to you, whispered lightly the word 'good night' to you.
I hugged you, I wanna prove how much I love you.
And to prove I'm going to miss you so badly in the silent night.
In the naive days, I said I will never live without you.
I fell for times, I never mention for the tiring, I enjoyed the tired of 'em.
Someday, you stabbed a knife to my heart, in moment..
everything shattered into pieces, left scars for me to heal.
I never whine for 'em, I enjoyed the procedure of pain.
I was trying so hard to escape from facts.
Just to stick back all the memories, I enjoyed how the time flows.
I enjoyed your eyes in my eyes, our heartbeats sounds.
We have the same dream, we believed in miracle.
We went for hunt, hunt for our TRUE LOVE. ♥
No matter people says that's only in fairytale, we don't take it seriously.
When the moment I dropped into a hole, the first time.
You grabbed my hand that tight, it signifying you're here for me.
My tears dropped for secured, I told myself to stay strong
and be ready to deserve our LOVE whenever it needs.
But at the end, we didn't deserve, we got dumped our LOVE.
I looked backward and rewind our memories.
I watched the beauty of 'em, how could you dumped 'em easily.
Perhaps I'm in the dream I should wake up in time!
Actually I understand I'm lying to my true-self.
I thought I could forget everything between us, I can be strong enough.
I don't need a shoulder to cry on, I just need a silent night,
to clear every craps in my mind, to calm myself down.
However, it didn't help at all! 
I was escaping from facts, I didn't mean to know the truth.
I avoided from calls, messages and etc.
I want you to come back, I cried out my heart.
Every beginning of a new day, I wore a mask on.
Put on a fake smile to everyone even my believed one.
I smiled ironically to the fools who believe in FOREVER.
I talked enthusiastic to cover the part of miserable of mine from 'em.
I didn't tell out, I didn't show out my emotions to people.
Stay strong was my last mission.
But after all, I realize it just a dream. An idiot but true dream.
My mind asked me to wake up from nightmare!
Never controlled by fate cause fate is in our hand.
It managed by us. Foolish doesn't know but they got their fortune easily.
Don't envy cause we're in happy situation but we just didn't mean to cherish.
After awaking, I grew for lessons. I miss the you in my impressions.
That the most beautiful memory between you and me.
That's a contact, we hid it silently in our hearts.
Every heartbeat reminding us to beware. Appreciate. (:
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